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Others

Man appearing in court for over speed

(Man appearing in court for over speed) Judge : Do you have have anything to say against the charge.. i.e crossing speed limit Man : My Lord, I was going to my wife’s house to bring her back home. Judge : Release that innocent person immediately.. LoL

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Why are you late

(Son came home late) Mother : son, why are you late? Son : I’d gone to watch movie, mom. Mother : which movie? Son : Mother’s Love Mother : Ok.. There is next movie in the home aswell Son : Which one? Mother : Angry Father

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A Chinese conversation

CHINESE : Hello, can I speak to Anni wan? Operator : Yes you can speak to me. Chinese : No.. I want to speak to Anni Wan. Operator : Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who are you? Chinese: I’m Sum Wan. …

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Did Santa bring it to you?

A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him. “Nice bike,” the cop said. “Did Santa bring it to you?” “Yep,” the little girl said, “he sure did!” The cop looked the bike over and handed …

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Mind your own business

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day.. All the patients were shouting.. “13.. 13… 13…” The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on. some idiot poked me in …

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I will grant you one wish

A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.” The biker pulled over and said, “Build a …

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That is MY chicken you are about to eat

A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish. By the time the food is ready and he is about to eat, the waiter comes back and says, “Sir, I’m afraid there has been a mistake. You see, that police officer who is sitting at the next table …

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(18+ adult) President’s balls in my hands

A little old lady went into the Bank of America one day carrying a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the President of the bank to open a savings account because it’s a lot of money. They finally get her into the president’s office and he …

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थोत्रो चप्पल

हनु दाईले बाटो मा हिड्दै गरेकी केटी लाई जिस्काउँदै भन्छ हनु दाई : hello बैनी अहिले मैले तिम्रो गाला मा किस गरे भने तिमी के गर्छेउ? केटी : ननसेन्स चप्पल खोलेर हान्छु नि झटारो । अनी हनु दाईले जबरजस्ती किस गरिदिन्छ । त्यस्पछी केटी रिस ले चुर हुँदै चप्पल खोलेर …

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I want to open a f***ing bank account

A man walked into a bank and walked up to the teller. He said, “I want to open a f***ing bank account.” Astonished, the lady replied, “I’m sorry sir, but we don’t tolerate that kind of language at this banking establishment.” With that said she walked up to the bank …

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I’m so bored that I can’t stand it

Joe was shocked to see his beautiful divorced neighbour knocking on his door one Friday evening. “I’m so bored that I can’t stand it” said the woman. “I want to go out,get Drunk”. Are you free tonight? Yes!!! Yes!! Joe replied Enthusiastically. “Wonderful”,she said “Would you please watch my kids …

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Daddy, I fell in love

Son : Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl. Father : That’s great son. Who is she? Son : It’s Sandra, the neighbors daughter. Father : Ohhh I wish u hadn’t said that. I have to tell u something son, but u must promise not …

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KIDS OF NOW DAYS

KIDS OF NOW DAYS In a nursery class, a little girl asks teacher,” can Mom get pregnant? Teacher : How old is your Mother? Little girl: She is Forty. Teacher: Yes She can get Pregnant. Little girl: Can my big sister get Pregnant? Teacher: How old is your big Sister …

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