Worlds shortest joke:
2 women were sitting quietly =))
Doctor: How is your headache?
Man : She is fine.
A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police.
He’s now a seasoned veteran.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
Do you know that Every calendar’s days are numbered?
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven ate nine.
Why are most midgets good guys?
Because they don’t look down on people.
My vacuum doesn’t work; it blows.
I’d be pissed if I were a kidney stone.
Whiteboards are remarkable.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
Why did the blonde stand in front of a mirror with eyes closed?
She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
What runs but doesn’t get anywhere?