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Husband Wife Best Jokes Collection

The husband-Wife relationship is always special whether in a good way or the other. Here is the collection of few Husband Wifes jokes to bring you a smile in your face. Enjoy the ride!

First Thing first!

If Your wife uses a dual sim phone,

Save both the number under one name…

Never save it as
“wife 1” and “wife 2″…

: From a hospitalized husband

“More love marriages end up in divorces than arranged ones”

Why?

Those couples who don’t have the courage to find love and marry, how can those couples get the courage to divorce.

LOL

Husband to Wife :- Today is a fine day.

The next day he says:- Today is a fine day.

Again next day, he says the same thing – today is a fine day.

Finally, after week, the wife can’t take it and asks her husband,
“Since the last one week, you are saying this ‘Today is a fine day’.
I am fed up. What’s the matter?

Husband:- Last week when we had an argument, you said, “I will leave you one fine day.” I was just trying to remind you

Wife : Shall we try different position tonight ?
Husband: ( excited ) Yah sure why not.
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Wife: OK you stand at Sink & wash dishes, I’ll be on the sofa and watch TV….

Once a man asked his wife,
“Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me any fortune?”

“Dear hubby, I’d have married you… NO Matter who left you a fortune!” She replied softly.
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Husband and wife are watching movie in Cinema hall.

Wife: Hey dear, somebody is trying to put hands inside my blouse.

Husband: Hahaha Let him do that….. Foolish person. .. He doesn’t know that the money purse is with me.

What is the difference between My wife & Others Wife?

Others Wife is Beauty,
My Wife is duty,

Others Wife is passion,
My Wife is tension,

Others Wife is cool,
My Wife is fool,

Others Wife is fresh cake,
My Wife is earthquake!.

Wife: Whenever You go outside, I feel so afraid from inside
Husband: Darling, Dont worry.. I’ll be back soon
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Wife: Honey.. Thats what I fear about

Husband in mixed reaction

Husband: Sir, my wife is lost since yesterday…

Postman: Sir, this is not a police station… This is Post office

Husband: Ohh…. sorry!

Husband : Oops.. Due to excitement.. I dont know what to do.. how to do…

Husband came home late at night from a party.

His wife shouted: How would you feel if you don’t see me for 2 days?

He couldn’t believe his luck.

He replied at once.”That would be great..!”

Monday passed & he didn’t see her.

Tuesday & Wednesday passed too.

On Thursday the swelling was better & he could see her from the corner of his left eye..!!

Husband sent a text to his Wife at night,

“Hi I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty clothes
And make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return..!”
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He sent another text,
“And I forgot to tell You that I got an increase in my salary
At the end of the month I’m getting you a new Car..!” :
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She texts back, “OMG Really..?”

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Husband Replied,
“No, I just wanted to make sure you got my first message”..!!!

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